The following indoctrination programme will install Christianity into your life. Please select “Continue” to begin.
Please read and agree to this BIBLE before indoctrinating yourself with Christianity. Christianity is not liable for any doctrinal adversity, whether temporary, permanent, marital, financial, intellectual, morbid or mortal, provided it is covered within or can be explained by THE BIBLE, no matter how convoluted, improbable, impossible, absurd, offensive or hilarious. By clicking “AGREE” you accept the above terms and indicate you have read and understood THE BIBLE.
CANCEL GO BACK DISAGREE AGREE
Please select the destination of your indoctrination:
- Entire Ontology
- Belief System
- Pascal’s Wager
- Parental Pressure
- Non-critical Thought
- I am under 10 years old
CANCEL GO BACK INDOCTRINATE
Please wait while Christianity is being indoctrinated into the selected destination. This may take a while. Please be patient. Do not ask questions of a probing nature or disconnect yourself from the source of your indoctrination during this process. If indoctrination is interrupted at any time you must select “CANCEL” > “GO BACK” and run the programme again from the beginning. To stop indoctrination simply click “CANCEL”.
CANCEL (ARE YOU SURE?) GO BACK
Congratulations! The indoctrination was successful. You must restart your life for all features of the programme to take effect. It is recommended you check frequently with your indoctrinator for updates and regularly run full reality scans. Christianity regularly issues automatic updates to guard against secularism, critical thought or non theism. It is recommended you set your life to receive these updates automatically. Christianity takes no responsibility should your life become infected with malware such as multi-faith tolerance, secularism, equal rights, humanism, rationalism or atheism. Instructions on how to repair your life from infection can be found by re-reading and accepting THE BIBLE.