Think the allure of Cosmo, minus the sleaze, plus the easy-to-read New Century Version of the New Testament

– Christianity Today describing the Biblezine Revolve –

Last weekend it was reported that Access Ministries had handed out “Biblezine” material to Victorian primary students.

The psychologically invasive material is typical conservative fundamental evangelism, with no place in Access’ so-called religious “education” classes. Long the subject of controversy for proselytising to students – what Access CEO Evonne Paddison described as “the greatest mission field in Australia” –  the latest revelation of volunteer conduct has led to an Education Department investigation.

The Department labelled the material as “inappropriate and offensive”. Biblezine material handed out advises primary school aged kids that masturbation and sex before marriage are sinful and girls who wear revealing clothes are inviting sexual assault. The Age reported that girls must not go bra-less because then:

your nipples are much more noticeable and a distraction and temptation for men

Don’t wear jeans cut low around the waist or tube tops because guys are:

sexually stimulated by what they see

The Bible says not to cause anyone else to sin. Are you putting sexual thoughts about your body into guys’ heads? If you are showing a lot of skin you probably are.

In a masterpiece of philosophical reasoning the question of how far can one go before one is no longer “pure”, comes up. A definite quandary given that condoms promote promiscuity. Thus, better to ponder, “How much dog poop stirred into your cookie batter does it take to ruin the whole batter.”

Indeed.

Homosexual feelings? No prizes for guessing where this would go. Time to get some counselling. If you are gay, Biblezine advise that it’s best “to never act on it”, The Age reports.

Access Ministries argue that they do not approve of the Biblezine material, which was handed out at Torquay College by volunteers from the Torquay Christian Fellowship Centre. A key provider of the Magnify Biblezine in Victoria is Scripture Union Victoria.

There are a range of Biblezines published and emanating from the USA. Apart from Scripture Union’s Magnify, there is Revolve 2 and Refuel 2 which popped up at Torquay College. Real is a Biblezine for the “hip-hop crowd”.

Yet Revolve, which offered the totally awesome advice on the power of girls nipples, has been spreading it’s wisdom for over a decade. From Christianity Today – way back in 2003 – we can consult Ten Things You Should Know About The New Girls Biblezine Revolve.

Still there is good news afoot. Since 2011 the number of ACCESS enrolements has fallen by one third. From 940 schools in 2011 to a delightfully devilish 666 last year. The change has followed a move to an “opt-in” choice for students in an environment where schools “may” provide religious instruction.

Previously classes were run on an “opt-out” basis whilst schools themselves were bullied into believing classes “must” be run if offered.

Of course Paddison disputes the Education Department figures claiming to have Access volunteers running classes in 780 schools last year. She has taken to disseminating a ”clarification” email to all schools offering the program.

It finishes:

we request all schools to adhere to the legislation.

Perhaps it would be more in keeping with Access tradition if Evonne Paddison had warned, “I’ll be back”.